When the Pain Becomes Unbareable


I must admit, the stress today was overwhelming and trying to deal with it all was hard.

I heard someone come into the church and I knew my husband wasn’t there to receive them, so I went upstairs…but by the time I got there they were gone, … the sanctuary was empty.

It was an uncomfortable feeling but something (someone) was calling me to just sit down at the keyboard and play.

My fingers were stiff and it was hard to sit up..my foot no longer worked the pedal properly, but the music flowed. It wasn’t nice or perfectly melodic, no it was raw and jagged, full of starts and stops, but my mothers words kept ringing in my ears,she said, “I can always tell what mood you’re in when you play the piano,” and she was right it was time, time for a release.

Sometimes you get beyond yourself, your own strength, you get beyond tears, you get to a place where the spirit is just in isolation and lock down, and you need an outlet, a release.

Playing the piano, worshiping, speaking in tongues even at the top of my voice, it was not pretty, the sound wasn’t pleasing but so needed!

It was a cry, a cry of the spirit, a cry so deep only one person could hear it, a cry to the only one who could help. I pray everyone finds that special place, that unique time and place to let their spirit speak – to release the pain…this is one of songs that helped.