1 John 1;5
This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Light – As Christians we know we are living in the end-times or last days and this present darkness is becoming great … knowing that …it is important to keep on guard for the situations, the temptations and the sins that are associated with the last days. To keep our light bright, and clear, we need to develop godly Christian characteristics that will help carry us through these dark days.
7 But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.
8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.1 Peter 4:7.8 kjv
The Apostle Paul writes in the last days that one of the characteristics people will exhibit will be a lack of self control. With all that happens world wide, the grief, the pestilences, the stress, the natural calamities, the famines and all the trial and troubles, self control will take a beating and people will become very self-centered and out of control.
2 Timothy 3 But understand this, that in the last days dangerous times [of great stress and trouble] will come [difficult days that will be hard to bear]. 2 For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, 3 [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, 4 traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. Avoid such people and keep far away from them. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 Amplified Bible
Self-control is a powerful characteristic of any Christian and brings with it many blessings. In general people tend to respect and trust people who have self- control, it brings peace and joy for those who are around someone who exhibits self-control and leads to good relationships. Unfortunately, those with out this characteristic tend to find themselves isolated and alone-as others want nothing to do with them or limit contact with them.
For most of us self-control is a choice for those who are called of God, not choosing self-control is a sin and needs to be repented of. As we will see in the lesson below self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. So our will working with the Spirit of God, produces self-control. The only exception to this is diagnosed illnesses, where a person is not responsible for their actions or reactions, but even then being filled-with the Spirit will help tremendously.
Having self-control will help overcome the other sins mentioned above…so we can start with helping our light become brighter in this dark world by improving our self-control.
Helping yourself and others to overcome in these last days is one of the most powerful things you can do as a Christian-it is important though to remember to care for yourself.
First examine yourself and then, when you are whole, help others. You can be an overcomer – you can be filled with the Spirit of the Lord and become Christ like even in these dark days.
Start by – studying the scriptures below on self- control and then check your heart and make sure the stress and trials aren’t leading you to become a hardened or a callous individual.
IF you find the stress and the times are leading you to act and react, doing or saying things that you know are harming your relationships with others, know there is help and there is hope!
Jesus is still the answer! Prayer and fasting, praise and worship, reading the Word, are all things that can help tremendously.
If you see these things beginning to happen in your life…turn immediately to the Lord.
Jesus will always help you to over come.
Having a loving and caring church family with a safe place to heal with acceptance, love, compassion and forgiveness is crucial.
Learn how to handle yourself when involved in PTSD events or stressful situations, learn what your own triggers are and get proper biblical mental health care to overcome them.
Then, help others and learn that people normally don’t yell, scream, or accuse others, learn the way stress affects people, and be prayed up ready to love and de-stress any situation.
The fight, flight, freeze, faint, panic attacks, or full blown adrenal seizures need to be dealt with. with compassionate godly reactions of gentleness, quietness, peace, and a comforting word.
Helping a person leave the situation to find a quiet space can help but be sure to have a buddy with you, don’t try to reason with someone experiencing a stress reaction but comfort them.
Only call for medical help if after 10 – 15 minutes the person is unable to calm down, use distraction or focusing on what is happening to bring them out of the stress response into the present. Hold off on medical treatment, the act of calling 911 can do more damage depending on the trigger. There are good resources available online or call your local hospital and mental health team and inquire about training. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/helping-someone-with-ptsd.htm#
How to help someone having a flashback or panic attack
During a flashback, people often feel a sense of disassociation, as if they’re detached from their own body. Anything you can do to “ground” them will help.
- Tell your loved one they’re having a flashback and that even though it feels real, the event is not actually happening again.
- Help remind them of their surroundings (for example, ask them to look around the room and describe out loud what they see).
- Encourage them to take deep, slow breaths (hyperventilating will increase feelings of panic).
- Avoid sudden movements or anything that might startle them.
- Ask before you touch them. Touching or putting your arms around the person might make them feel trapped, which can lead to greater agitation and even violence.
We are living in very dangerous times… and people aren’t reacting well to the stress, the fear, or the extreme difficulties. Learn to be prayed up and full of the Holy Ghost- having personal self- control so that you can help yourself and others by not reacting poorly, or adding to the situation.
Blessed are the peace makers…
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The following is a complimentary repost from Gentle Christian Parenting. All Rights Reserved by and for Gentle Christian Parenting. Condensed by Lois McQuinn, for the full article click the link above.
.Self-Control In The Bible
An essential practice of Christ-like living is the exercise of self-control. It may help you to know that the meaning of self-control in the bible doesn’t have the same connotations as our modern understanding of the word. It’s important to understand the biblical text so you can benefit from the truth and empowerment offered in scripture.
Spiritual Self-Control In The Bible
Self-control, according to Galatians 5:23, is a product of having the Holy Spirit. Being a product or fruit of the Holy Spirit, means having the Holy Spirit is a prerequisite. Self-control comes from the indwelling and transformation by the Holy Spirit. Strong’s Concordance defines the word used in this bible verse, ἐγκράτεια, as “self-control – proceeding out from within oneself, but not by oneself.”
Jesus is the expert on overcoming temptation. He never sinned, despite being tempted. And he is compassionate towards our struggles with temptation.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15, NIV).
Not only does he care, but he has left us with help to overcome. As Jesus was leaving he told us, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you” (John 14:26, NIV).
Spiritual self-control cannot happen without the Holy Spirit. You need to depend on him and draw upon the power and strength you have been given in Christ through the Holy Spirit in order to practice self-control well. So really, as people of faith, we might do better to call it “With the help of the Holy-Spirit control.”
But there’s another important aspect of self-control in the bible. We are told to choose self-control in the bible. It is both Holy Spirit empowered and by our own choice.
“But the end of all things is near. Therefore be of sound mind, self-controlled, and sober in prayer” (I Peter 4:7).
“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness,” (2 Peter 1:5-6).
So self-control is both something we make an effort for and receive. It is done in collaboration with the Holy Spirit – not by Him for us, nor by us without Him.
Biblical self-control means choosing to give up trying to control things on our own, surrendering to God for help, and working alongside Him for real change.
Why Self-Control Is Important
If you lack self-control, you will be controlled by your whims. If you don’t choose to rely on the Holy Spirit and aim to make the right choices, you can’t become your best self.
Jesus gave up his life so that you could be set free from sin and death. This freedom is meant to be used to glorify God. When you give up the life ruled by desires that come and go, you discover the better and more meaningful life God has for you.
As Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, and whoever will lose his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 16:24-25).
When you die to yourself or surrender to God’s way over your own way, you will find a more beautiful and fulfilling life on the other side.
More Verses About Self-Control In The Bible
Scripture also speaks to the many benefits of self-control. Below are more bible verses and key takeaways from scripture on self-control.
Self-Control Protects You
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” (Proverbs 25:28).
It Makes You More Attractive
“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,” (I Timothy 2:9, ESV)
Note the word here for self-control is σωφροσύνης. It means being sober-minded. Whereas the other word was more about your behavior and having mastery over your actions.
Self-Control Benefits Your Testimony
“Likewise, exhort the younger men to be sober-minded. In all things show yourself an example of good works” (Titus 2:6). This verse also uses the word for self-control, σωφρονέω, or sober-minded.
What God Says About Self Control And Overcoming Temptation
1. Expect trials and temptations.
Be prepared. Being a Christian doesn’t mean life is easy. While we are still in this world and in our earthly bodies we will be tempted, just as Jesus was.
“Beloved, don’t be astonished at the fiery trial which has come upon you, to test you, as though a strange thing happened to you” (I Peter 4:12). This same word for trial, “peirasmon” in the original Greek is also translated as temptation, such as Jesus used in teaching us to pray “Bring us not into temptation” (Matthew 6:13).
2. It’s a battle. It can be hard and frustrating.
You don’t need to minimize the difficulty. It’s hard. Choosing right when faced with temptation is much easier said than done.
As Paul said, “For I delight in God’s law after the inward man, but I see a different law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity under the law of sin which is in my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will deliver me out of the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! So then with the mind, I myself serve God’s law, but with the flesh, the sin’s law” (Romans 7:22-25).
3. You Have Power In Christ
It might be hard, but you are strong enough in Christ. Jesus has won the battle, removed sin’s power, and has empowered you to make the right choices.
“Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with him, that the body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be in bondage to sin” (Romans 6:6).
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NIV).
4. You never have to battle alone. The Holy Spirit will help you overcome temptation.
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lust of the flesh,” (Galatians 5:16).
God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (I Corinthians 10:13).
5. Prayer is your weapon.
When you feel like you are struggling with self-control, pray to be rescued from temptation. In what’s known as the Lord’s prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6:13, NIV).
At the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus encouraged the disciples who were struggling to be there for Jesus as he had asked them to, saying, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41, NIV).
Bible Verses on Self-Control
To help you stay motivated, here are some printable bible verse scripture cards with verses from this post. Click on the image below to save and print it. Prefer a pdf? Download the Self-Control Scripture Cards PDF here.
Final Encouragements On Biblical Self-Control
In Christ, you are called to live into the best life that God has always intended for you, and to honor Christ’s sacrifice by worshiping God with your choices. This isn’t just for God’s benefit, but yours.
It’s worth the effort and sacrifice. And truly, as time goes on you will get better at it. If you’d like more help, I’ve put together self-control worksheets. Go here to get yours